Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Living Your Life

A sudden turn of events have changed my family's perspective of life in the past couple of weeks. Upon reflection, I realized that life is too precious to be mulled and sulked over. Life and death is natural. It comes and goes and it will touch everyone in their journey in this world.

My beloved father has passed away on August 9, 2008. In my heart, I would like to say that he has been invited back by the Almighty and not that he had left us behind. He was not only a father figure, but he was a mentor to me. Always teaching me the meaning of being patience and how I must always think of the best of everybody in this world regardless of what people might do towards me, be it good or bad. I had always hoped that I had lived to his expectations. Not only with having good grades in school, but also to be a good daughter and a good muslimah - which is what he wanted the most. Insya Allah, all the things that he had always preached to us, the 5 brothers & sisters, are kept close to our hearts.

I believe Abah would have been proud if he could only see how his children had handled his passing away. Yes all the 5 of us had our sad moments. But we huddled, scruffled and we rise above it. Mama needed us the most and I am proud to say that she received all the support that she can get from her children as well as her son/daugher in laws.

We arranged for the jenazah ourselves. We were there during his last moments. We taught him how to mengucap. We held his hand during his final breath. We wiped his brows when the angels were pulling him away from his jasad. And we closed his eyes after the last breath was out of his mouth. We covered Abah in white. We rubbed oil to his muscle-joints so that they will not be stiff. We carried him to the mosque in preparation for the burial. We bathe him ourselves as one of his last rights. And alhamdulillah, we had many people who came to the mosque for the solat jenazah. I would say, arwah would have been happy with all of this. And our family is very much thankful for those who had came forward to lend us support and their helping hands - and yes not to forget all those condolences.

Life is very much fragile I would say. I've received my shocking eye opener now realizing that we, mortals, can be taken away by God anytime He wishes to. Not a second too early nor too late. When our time is up, the angels are there to bring us up. Just like what has been said in the Quran, our fate is written on our 'leaves' up in the heaven even before we are born. How we will fare in this world, and when we will die and of course how we will die.

With this reminder, I hope that when my time comes, when I'm invited back by the angel of death, I would have enough supply of all the good deeds that I had done in this world. I hope that all my sins will be washed away during my final bath. And I hope that I would leave behind children who are soleh & solehah enough to pray for my soul and guide me through the gates of Heaven.

Life is too short - too precious - too valuable to be wasted upon nothingness. Nothingness that comes in many ways - hatred, jealousy, abhorrence, etc.

Hence, from this day onwards, I will live, love and savour each moment that I have as if I'm dying tomorrow. For Abah, we hope that you are happy & peaceful now. Our thoughts, love and prayers are always with you. You have lived, loved and savoured your life in this mortal world like there was no tomorrow. And I would say, you have left behind a legacy that other people will remember for as long as we lived. You have touched our life and the life of others in so many ways that you can think of. With that, we thank you.

Al-Fatihah for Arwah Engku Abdul Rahman Bin Engku Chik Ahmad.
Son - Father - Brother - Teacher.